This is not a regular list of goals that someone may make, this is a deeply personal perspective on the changes I and possibly you can take and the person I wish to become — take what you wish for your journey.
Where I came from
Just as your own life’s journey is unique to you, mine is unique to me and where I came from has been nothing but. At the age of 3 diagnosed with the condition Epilepsy and then later in my early teenage years with the condition Dyslexia, the struggle was firmly in place. But I found solace in music and art as well as hiking, running, road cycling and rock climbing. Over the years I have had incredibly rewarding experiences travelling the world scaling mountains in far-flung places such as Russia, Turkey and Canada. Studying Art and Design at Cambridge then in my 20’s I became a web programmer (who could of guessed!) with a great career with my aim to start a company.
It is of course impossible to go through all my experiences and the influences in my life up to this point which has made me who I am now.
The year of 2023
To make future changes I realise I need to look back to see where I came from, it is not the destination that counts it is the journey we take in life that makes who we wish to become and the impact we make.
From 2020 to the end of 2023 it has been sadly a negatively impactful time, challenging my optimistic spirit to the point I felt no way out. In 2020 from a neighbour’s renovations I started to have vibrations through the floor, an incessant hum, knocking heard on the floor above at really odd times. Through local authorities, I have nearly got to resolving them but the impact on my life especially in 2023 has been me shattered 24/7 from being unable to have a full night’s sleep, seizures from my Epilepsy increased to losing my job and being unemployed for an excessive amount of time — health, wealth and personal life all impacted.
2024 will be different, plans and goals have been made and the future is to come. When I act on my goals it should be the start of a wonderful couple of years. I have a loving family and friends who care greatly all of whom wish to see me and thus this makes all I have experienced in the past 3 years a minor blip in my life. Focussing on the past negatives is not defining me in the future.
Understanding the present “me”
I have lived thus far a life that is as full of joy and wonderful experiences in life as I could make it. Even though I know I have done things that I may not have been proud of, the important thing is I look at it all in the round and take everything as a learning experience I can pass on to my future “me” and to others to impact my life positively. Understanding the “me” in the present is to understand the “me” in the future to come and what I wish for in my life — after all the future always becomes the present.
Goals I have made in a rough sense to use as a gauge have been defined on the premise of what I have done and what I wish to continue with, the people around me from family to friends to the places I have explored around the world and experiences I have had.
The present me (or the future me) is as complex as the infinite universe yet as simple as the sound from a beating heart. It requires love, compassion, understanding and a degree of patience to be moulded into something wonderfully simple yet exceptionally complex. The nature of “me” is an adventurous and determined optimistic guy.
Changing attitude towards personal goals
I realise over the past years I have been moving along yes enjoying life but thinking too much of what others think of “me” rather than thinking what “I” think of me. Taking note of what people think is good as no one wishes another harm, but it can inadvertently negatively impact my self-worth. The attitudes of others should not dictate who I will become but should be there as information and information alone. The goals I seek to accomplish in 2024 and onwards may change over time or have additions applied. Much the same as going up a mountain we can look at our goals as a journey knowing by the end of the year we can look back and smile at what we have accomplished.
Like myself, “you” need to remember to do what “you” want and not what “others” may wish you to do.
A decision made is better than making none at all
We move through life living it day by day and year by year. Our decisions are made some unconsciously and some intentionally yet all our decisions are forward-thinking and impact both our own lives and those around us. The lack of decision is a waste of time in our lives as each day that has past is a day that we will never regain, the sands of time are just that.
Think of this as we get older days are perceptively going faster. This is not just something we think from the years gone by, it is something that has been scientifically proven to be true. When we are born we are acutely observant of every single little detail that encompasses our life. Every sound, touch, and experience that we have, the mere breath from our mother or a loving hug from our father is experienced with a unique eye. As we gradually become older we perceive and observe less thus the perception of time goes faster.
Make decisions and act on them so you can experience as many new things as possible and observe a greater richness in your life this will perceptively slow down time for you and me.
The morning of time lost
The only way I am going to be able to take action and complete each goal will be to use time in the best way possible. Time given to rest is important to recharge but time is also needed to complete what we wish to see done. Much like with yourself, each day that passes is a lost day in my own life. We are after all only around for a finite amount of time and my time should be respected and used wisely. In the past (just as I am sure others have) we have laid in bed in the mornings snoozing, although rest is something we need, once the sun rises and the new day has begun we need to think if what we are doing is worth the time and can we be doing something else that gets us closer to completing a goal to make our lives that bit more enjoyable and richer.
Saying “I love you” to those special people in your life
Missed moments in our life wishing that we had said these words of “I love you” are the ones I for sure have wished I had said to members of my family who now have sadly past. What you may have as that special person in your life one day they may well not be there and just as I have wished, you may wish you had said those words. It is to be human to have emotions and to be connected to others, not embracing humanity is only stopping us from being all that we are.
I for sure wish I had said “I love you” to my grandfather, grandmother and great-aunt, all of whom have been monumental in their impact on my life. I have wonderful memories with them all, and all these memories have been simple such as watching and chatting to my Gran while she cooks or sitting down together with them as a family enjoying tea and granny cakes. The simple special moments count and yet saying “I love you” shows them how much you care — even if they know it. I am due to see my mum this easter, and I am going to say “I love you” to her.
A dream is only a dream unless action is taken
Recently I came across a saying:
“If you aim for the moon, you may reach the top of the tree, but if we aim for the tree, your feet may never leave the ground.”
We all have dreams, most of which are realistic but if a dream is not acted upon then it will only reside as a dream. the size of the dream is not to be felt as scary or not worth it as even the smallest of dreams may mould into something great that you never thought was possible. If the dream is huge, should you be scared? even the scariest of dreams can be looked at as a mountain to be climbed by taking baby steps towards the end goal.
For me, I find it is better to reach for the stars and get part way through the journey than to reach for the tops of the trees and never lift off the ground. Look to Elon Musk or Richard Branson both of whom had a dream that to many at the time would look impossible and yet with persistence and patience they succeeded.
The impact of negative thinking
Throughout my life, I have been an optimistic thinker even when I am down and cannot see a way out. I find it is easy to focus on the negatives in life and not look at all the good things which we have come to find and experience which is what we are all guilty of doing including myself. Yet, I see action brings optimism and not doing anything to “try” to regain the smile inside and out does not make for a happy bunny.
My intention is then to follow through with this optimistic thinking, to seek a route out of whatever situation I find myself in that negatively impacts me and my life and by extension people around me. Do you want to have a happy life? or do you want to be sad and down for not doing something you should have done? Hindsight is a wonderful thing yet has to be used carefully only taking the things that impact you positively in the future.
My goal list for my life (thus far)
To those that like lists I have a starting base for my goals for the future that will change and mould into something slightly different. However, these are a start.
Learn to flyLearn French to Intermediate levelMove to FrancePublish a children’s bookStart a companyStart a familyBuy a second home possibly in Canada
I look back at all my changes for this year and beyond realising I should have done them a long time ago, yet of course looking back and wishing does not change anything, looking forward and taking action will. Just as my positive changing attitudes to this life are going to make me a better person so can you make “your” own personal changes. No one can dictate to you who “you” should become only “you” can do this. Your future is your future and no one else makes your life’s journey amazing, fulfilling and beautiful.
Remember when you look back on life once you have retired, will you see your life as a sequence of wonderful moments or a life of misses? I for sure want to make mine my own and no one else’s achieving everything I wish to do.
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2024; My Future Personal Journey Of Positive Changes was originally published in Mindful Mental Health on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.