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I began every evening with the same set of good intentions.
I was going to read, exercise, and cook a healthy dinner. I might even use the art supplies that were collecting dust in the corner of my spare room. I was determined to use my time after work in an enriching, mindful way.
But that’s not how every evening had been turning out.
Inevitably, I would find myself on my couch, laptop precariously perched on my midsection and phone in hand, repeatedly switching back and forth between the same three or four platforms: YouTube, Instagram, Netflix, and — in truly desperate moments of slack-jawed boredom — Facebook. Dinner usually ended up being popcorn or a greasy bag of fast food ordered through an app in between scrolling sessions.
Somehow, despite my desire for restorative evenings filled with high quality hobbies, I’d instead become hopelessly addicted to the internet.
I understand that my addiction was by design. All four of those platforms are intentionally trying to keep your attention on their content for as long as possible. I, like millions of others around the world, had simply fallen into a very easy trap. But while I recognized that my internet addiction wasn’t necessarily my fault, I also recognized that curing it was my responsibility.
One evening about two months ago, I looked up at the clock and realized that it was 12:30 AM. I had stopped work at 5:00 PM and immediately relocated from my home office to my couch, mindlessly opening my laptop and grabbing my phone. Somehow, in a flurry of videos, memes, pics, likes, and comments, I had lost seven and a half hours. I felt physically and spiritually ill.
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I knew that I needed to make real changes because my good intentions were never enough. And so, armed with knowledge from several sources that I had read in the months and years prior, I set out to cure my internet addiction.
See, I already knew what I needed to do. I had been struggling with internet addiction for a while, so I turned to several books and podcasts to learn how to decrease my time online. Here is a short list of resources that I consumed prior to finally making the changes that I did; every change I’m about to mention was suggested or inspired by something in these resources:
Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal NewportDeep Questions — a podcast hosted by NewportIrresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology & the Business of Keeping Us Hooked by Adam AlterYour Undivided Attention — a podcast hosted by Tristan Harris, Aza Raskin and Daniel BarcayTen Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron LanierThe Social Dilemma — a documentary on Netflix (ironically one of the sites to which I was addicted)
Armed with knowledge from these sources and with a healthy dose of embarrassment over how I had been wasting my free time, I took one week to gradually enact the following changes:
Monday — I uninstalled Instagram and Facebook from my phone
I didn’t delete my accounts, and I can still access them on my desktop if I want. Without these two apps on my phone, I don’t check them very often anymore. The drive to constantly check them evaporated soon after they were no longer on my phone.
Tuesday — I disabled YouTube on my phone
With Instagram and Facebook gone from my phone, my desperate, addicted brain shifted to scrolling YouTube instead. So, the next day I disabled that app. I can still watch a video in a browser on my phone if I need to (like how to sharpen a kitchen knife or do something in Excel), but the browser doesn’t show an endless, algorithmically curated list of enticing videos to keep watching ad infinitum.
Wednesday — I designated a place to keep my phone while I’m home unless I need to call, text, or look something up
My phone was already less of a distraction, but I still reflexively pulled it out to look at email, news sites, and search engines. I wanted to use my phone when I needed to, not because I was bored. So, I started keeping my phone in another room. While I am in my office or the living area, my phone resides on a little table in the foyer. I have notifications turned on for calls and texts. That’s it.
Thursday — I switched out my smart watch for a traditional watch
My phone was less enticing and was out of site, but I was still receiving a few buzzes and distractions on a piece of wearable tech: my smartwatch. I found that I was still tempted to go look at my phone and check notifications while wearing it, so I switched it for a beloved Fossil watch that my husband gave me. Now my watch just tells the time (and looks classically chic).
Friday — I took my laptop out of my living area and stored it out of sight
The phone and constant notifications were no longer an issue, but I quickly replaced my phone with my laptop. I’d use it to watch hours of YouTube and binge inane series on Netflix. I knew that if the laptop was near my couch, I’d chose it over a book or another hobby, so I turned it off and stored it in my office. It’s there if I need to work at a coffee shop or library, or if I travel.
Saturday — I replaced my laptop with a stack of books, a journal, a sketchpad, and a pair of binoculars
All of my usual distractions were gone, but I knew from all of those books and podcasts I mentioned earlier that if I didn’t replace one behavior with another, the original behavior would creep back in. So, I made the things I did want to do — reading, reflecting, drawing, etc. — more accessible. I put a stack books where my laptop used to be. I also love to nature journal (I live in a wooded area with tons of wildlife), so I put my binoculars and sketchbook nearby as well. Now, I naturally reach for those things.
Sunday — I thoughtfully pared down my subscriptions and my watchlist on YouTube and Netflix, respectively
While I didn’t want to lose entire weeks of free time to the internet, I still wanted to watch things that interested me.* YouTube and Netflix are still sources of entertainment and education. I just didn’t want to abuse them. So, I made sure that I was only subscribed to creators that I truly care about, and I curated my watchlist to only contain shows and movies that I was genuinely interested in watching. I then implemented a little rule: if it’s not on my subscriptions or watchlist, it’s essentially “unavailable.” Gone are the evenings spent watching one recommended video after another and browsing Netflix for hours to see what to watch. I also decided to only have one show to watch at a time. Until I finish that show or decide I’m not into it, I won’t start a different series.
*Quick side note — There’s also a feature of my home that makes it easier to choose books and art over watching TV or videos: our TV is in a separate room, downstairs. Earlier this year, my husband renovated our basement and built a home cinema room. We moved our TV to that room, so now our living area has no TV. If we want to watch something, we have to get up and go downstairs. Just that small amount of added friction has cut down our TV time immensely. That set up was already in place when I made the above changes, and I immediately recognized how much it helped to cut down on excess viewing.
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It’s been 2 months since I made the seven changes over seven days that I listed above. In those 2 months, I have experienced what can only be described as a completely different life.
I’ve finished — and enjoyed! — eight different books, about a book a week. I’ve started journaling again, a practice I’d maintained all through my teen and young adult years, but lost as I replaced it with scrolling. I’ve started a beautiful nature sketchbook in which I’ve illustrated and written about dozens of birds, frogs, butterflies, deer, and possums. I’ve found it so much easier to get up and take my dog on a walk, to exercise on our back patio, and to cook dinner each evening. I even started baking bread from scratch. We haven’t had store bought bread in weeks.
Other things improved without much effort: I sleep like a baby. I’m so much more interested in my work and my productivity has skyrocketed. My mind feels calm and discerning, a far cry from my distracted, frazzled state only 2 months ago. Even my relationship with my spouse has deepened. Turns out, if you’re not always distracted by your devices, you actually talk to your family. My husband and I have started sitting down to share meals again. We also started watching shows together and discussing them like excited teenagers (we watched the first season of True Detective and we were so engrossed that we spent happy hours discussing its themes and our theories. It was like life before the internet). It’s…magical. By cutting out my online distractions, I’ve managed to build a life of depth and peace.
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Now, I understand what would happen if I re-installed the apps on my phone. I know what I’d do if I put the laptop back in the living room. I know that compulsive notification checking is only a smartwatch away. It is very clear to me that I’ve only been able to maintain this new life of depth because I’ve stuck to the changes that I listed. If I were to say, “I’m cured! I can totally have Instagram on my phone again!” then I’d fall right back into the same trap that had me wasting 7+ hours a night online. I did not “hack my brain” or do some “dopamine detox.” Instead, I hacked my surroundings and exposures. That’s what ended my internet addiction.
The platforms I was using are designed to hook you. Their profits depend on monopolizing your precious attention, so they use behavioral psychology to keep you coming back to their even if you don’t want to. Using willpower and white-knuckling it are not going to help you to use these platforms and devices any less. The best way to defeat temptation is to not be tempted at all.
After 2 months on the other side, I don’t think I’ll ever install social media apps on my phone again, nor will I keep streaming devices close at hand. Life without those distractions is just too rich. I was missing so much, and that lack was driving me to boredom and despair.
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I highly advise that you look closely at how often you use various apps, platforms and devices, and to assess whether these things are deepening your life, or making it more shallow. You could be a week or so away from an incredible, mindful life that you didn’t even know was waiting for you.
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I Cured My Internet Addiction in One Week was originally published in Mindful Mental Health on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.