Image by Daniela Navaes | jornee
Ever find yourself overwhelmed by emotions you just can’t control? Trapped in a cycle of suffering that sometimes feels impossible to get out of?
I’ll be upfront with you: it’s not your emotions themselves causing the suffering, but your resistance to feeling them — and the self-judgment that inevitably follows.
We often label our feelings as inconvenient, uncomfortable, or even unnecessary. But here’s the truth: the biggest source of our emotional suffering is not the emotions themselves, but how we respond to them.
Emotions are meant to be felt, and cannot be controlled. But how we think about and react to them, can.
Want to stop suffering? Start embracing your emotions like a loving parent embraces their child.
In my 2 decades journey through self-awareness, my most transformative learning was that my emotions are not something to battle against, but rather, valuable opportunities to reconnect with myself and my unmet emotional needs.
This is why I’m here today telling you that learning to sit with your emotions, rather than resisting them, is the practice that will set you free from suffering.
Is it easy? No.
Is it worth it? If you’re after a life of emotional freedom, then absolutely.
Sitting with your emotions and feelings means learning to resist the urge to judge them, and instead creating an internal environment of curiosity through active self-compassion.
Here’s how you can use active self-talk to move from resistance to compassion next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions you can’t control.
Instead of judgement…
“There’s no reason to feel this way.”
…try acceptance:
“This is how I feel right now.”
Instead of intellectualisation…
“I need to find the reason why I feel this way.”
…try presence:
“I will tune into my body — it knows what I need right now.”
Instead of avoidance…
“I need to suppress or ignore this feeling.”
…try encouragement:
“What is this feeling telling me about my unmet needs?”
Instead of resistance…
“This feeling is too uncomfortable, I need to change it or distract myself to make it go away.”
…try courage:
“These are my feelings, and I will sit with them even if it feels uncomfortable.”
The only way out is through
By practicing curiosity-based compassionate self-talk, you can learn to let go of the urge to resist your emotions, and instead welcome them as your guides. This shift is one of the most powerful ways to stop suffering and nurture your emotional wellbeing.
jornee: Your digital safe space for radical self-compassion
With the jornee app, we’ve created a safe space for you to explore self-awareness and engage with your feelings through the lens of your unmet emotional needs.
jornee’s therapeutic writing prompts were written by me personally, aimed to gently guide you to embrace self-compassion, helping you break free from the cycle of self-judgment and internalised shame.
If you’re ready to stop the suffering and experience true wellness, jornee is the next step in your healing journey.
🚀 The app is in its final stages of development, and is expected to launch later this year.
Click here to sign up to the waitlist.
📖 P.S.: I also wrote a book about my journey, which you can purchase here, or download a free sample here.
📝 P.S.2.: If you’re looking for a more practical guide for embracing self-compassion for emotional freedom, I made a digital guide workbook where you get to write about the story of your life through the lens of therapeutic writing prompts.
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Want to End Emotional Suffering? Start Doing This was originally published in Mindful Mental Health on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.