How to beat them for good
Intrusive thoughts happen to every single person, and probably have been happening to humans since the dawn of time. They are our brain’s built in alarm system that tells us what we fear and don’t want to happen.
Unchecked, intrusive thoughts can wreck havoc on our minds, and inevitably our lives. As a person with firsthand experience, I can share some helpful tools to beating intrusive thoughts for good and living a life of freedom.
As previously mentioned, intrusive thoughts happen to everyone-essentially they are normal. “New global research shows that 94 percent of people experience unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images and/or impulses” (Science Daily, 2014).
Often, intrusive thoughts point out what we don’t want to happen, and sometimes they are just weird or disturbing things our brains form out of curiosity. Nevertheless, intrusive thoughts are misunderstood and often taboo in topic. This is what makes getting help so complicated. But as more awareness spreads, it doesn’t have to be.
My own experience with intrusive thoughts has spanned my entire life, but became more prevalent during my first pregnancy and after becoming a new mom. If there’s one thing that will bring an already highly sensitive and anxiety prone person on edge, it’s parenthood.
There’s so much uncertainty and fear about bringing a life into the world. That paired with a lack of sleep, and the adjustment of having a new baby is a breeding ground for intrusive thought destruction.
It was hard for me to talk about, but my intrusive thoughts were starting to take over my life. I was so fearful and anxious about something happening to my baby or to me. I imagined every scenario possible and my thoughts became a looping pattern. I would try to perform silly rituals or say certain statements to myself to pacify or push away the thought or image.
I knew I had to help myself. I confided in a close friend about what I was going through, as well as a therapist for a little while. Ultimately, there just wasn’t enough information that I could find that really helped me. It was going to take a big mindset shift for me to beat intrusive thoughts.
I was determined to get through it, so I tried every technique that I could think of to rid myself of them. The basis of these thoughts, I found, is fear. If I could learn not to be afraid of them, I could set myself free.
The journey there was quite challenging, but after learning some tools to help myself by researching online along with trial and error, I am finally in a place where I am mostly free of intrusive thoughts. They definitely don’t run my life anymore. And when they come up, I let them go quickly before they become an obsession.
Picture from Unsplash
Here are the things that helped me beat intrusive thoughts for good:
Identify the root of the thought.
When I start feeling anxious, or notice more intrusive thoughts-I stop myself. I ask, “What is making me feel anxious?” Or, “what is the reason I am having this thought.” If the thought is based around something bad happening to one of my family members, I reframe the thought. “I really love my husband/mother/child, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to them. That is the root of this thought.” I remind myself that I can’t control everything that happens in life, and instead I will focus on gratitude for their safety. I also pay attention to what is going on in my life. Maybe a life/change or transition is happening that I’m anxious about and I recognize that. When we see patterns in our lives that make intrusive thoughts more likely, we realize that, in time, it will pass.
Nothing you think/imagine can make anything happen.
There was a time when I first learned about manifestation that I actually feared that my thoughts would create my reality. What I learned is that manifestation is our true intention of making something happen using multiple factors of visualization, feeling what you want and putting steps into action. Manifestation isn’t powered by fear-the root of intrusive thoughts. Manifestation is powered by desire and love. Having a disturbing thought will not make it happen. Which leads me to:
Observe the thought without judgment.
One of the things that powers the intrusive thoughts are fear and shame. By simply observing our thoughts and seeing them fully as they are without assigning a label to them, we can more easily let them pass on by.
Don’t resist the thought.
This technique is daunting to try, because we want to do everything in our power to push the scary thoughts/images away. By allowing ourselves to imagine the thought fully, we are giving ourselves space to sit with it, which will eventually lead to less fear of the thought. We can simply think, “Hmm, that was strange,” and move on with our day.
Speak to the thought.
It sounds silly, but speaking to the thought whether out loud or internally really helps. For example you could say, “Oh hey their intrusive thought. There you are again.”
Dramatize the thought.
This is a strange, yet comical technique to beat intrusive thoughts. The idea is to say the thought you are having out loud in a dramatic way. You can also sing it, change it into silly voices, etc. This helps separate yourself from the thought, and see that it is not you.
Seek help.
It’s incredibly hard to experience anxiety and intrusive thoughts. If you or anyone you know are struggling, reach out to your health provider and look for a therapist trained in treating anxiety and OCD. This is a helpful website to use. Make sure to check if the therapist takes your insurance if you have it. And it’s always okay to take medication if you need it.
Remember that you are always bigger than your intrusive thoughts. They are indicators of areas we need to heal in our lives, but they don’t define you or make you a bad person. They are simply your brain’s way of trying to get you to sit with the hard feelings until they pass. Breathe, you got this.
Sources:
Concordia University. “Surprising truth about obsessive-compulsive thinking.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 8 April 2014. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140408122137.htm>.
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